Wish I could be one of those fun moms...

Today when I picked up the girls from school I was so excited to see that Lauren was bringing home her class’ pet hermit crabs. Aren’t I a party pooper? I’m sorry, but I just immediately flashed forward to a hysterical “MOMMY!! HAVE YOU SEEN T-PAIN AND LIL WAYNE??” moment. Oh, did I not mention that those are their names? Someone in Lauren’s class suggested those, and apparently the majority ruled and so they were christened. Neither one looks like their rapper namesake, but maybe with some really low-riding jeans and some serious bling there would be a greater resemblance. (honestly, how hilarious is it that I found a picture of them at underarock dot com??) Lauren and Emma have decided to call them Hermy and Sheldon, so in a heartbeat they went from hip to nerdsville.

I asked Lauren what needed to be done for the crabs tonight, and she assured me that they only need a couple of food pellets. Thankfully, we are not responsible for cleaning out the tank or anything. There was some talk about letting them out to walk around, but when the girls heard my “you’re going to let them out on my KITCHEN TABLE??”, Lauren heaved a big sigh and said “not necessarily…”. They don’t seem to have any odour, which is good (although Will did say he thought something smelled liked corned beef). I’m not big on odours, although I can tell you quite honestly that I have never seen anyone react as badly to a strong smell as Emma’s friend Kendra. She was in our group for our zoo trip at the beginning of the month and I was just about on the floor every time we went into a pavilion to look at the animals. She would make the most astonishing gagging/hacking sounds. The first time it happened, I truly expected to turn around and see her lung lying on the ground.

Sorry, went off on a whole other tangent there. So here's hoping that the crabs don't keel over tonight, and go back to school tomorrow safe and sound. I told Lauren that she'd better keep an eye on Inky, because she was scoping out the tank like "hmm...hermit crabs...it's what's for dinner".

Grade 3 Road Trip

So today I went on a trip to Safety Village with Emma's class. The trip had an interesting start; I arrived at the school to find a tearful Emma, who was hoping that I had brought her bike helmet. The very bike helmet that I asked her 842 times to put with her bag AND LEAVE IT THERE. The bike helmet that was in fact lying on the floor in the living room, having been used as a football earlier in the morning by her siblings. So I raced home, hoping to get back before they were ready to get on the bus. No such luck. I screeched into the parking lot and ran to the bus, cheered on by the 3rd graders hanging out the windows chanting "GO, CAROLYN GO!!". And I wish I was kidding about that.

We got to Safety Village, which is a really cute kid-sized town where kids learn about road safety and bike safety and other good stuff. We were somewhat dismayed to discover that instead of having the place to ourselves, we would be sharing the village with another school, since some nob had double booked the slot. Officer Astrid said that there would be a total of 80+kids, rather than just our 20 or so.

I have to say that Officer Astrid MADE the whole experience for me. As soon as I heard her name, I grinned to myself because I immediately thought of The Office; the one where they throw the baby shower for Jan and her baby, Astrid. Only, Michael gets the name wrong, and they wind up getting ASTIRD printed on the personalized M&Ms. So of course, I couldn't think of this police officer any other way. Especially since she was just such a bizarre personality.

Officer Astrid treated the kids like they were in boot camp. She stood with her feet at least shoulder width apart and kept hollering "YES, SIR" or "NO, MA'AM" at the kids when they put up their hands to answer a question. She yammered for about 10 minutes about how short on time we were, and how difficult it was going to be to get everything done in the time we had, and there was no time for shenanigans, and there was to be no talking without raising your hand...you get the idea. Then she regaled them with truly horrifying stories about bikes that got totally mangled by trains, and what can happen to you if you put stickers on your helmet. She talked about sustaining terrible soft tissues injuries...if you didn't break your neck first. HOLY COW.

After 45 minutes, she finally ran out of horror stories and told us that we'd be moving on to the helmet inspection. And when one of the kids shouted "FINALLY!!!!", I wanted to add a big AMEN.

The kids rode around the village on bikes, and most of them actually stopped at the red lights and stop signs. Then there were others who were completely in their own world and just cruised on through the intersections without a clue, rode on the wrong side of the road and pulled illegal U-turns all over the place. Was it wrong that I found all of that hilarious? I also loved Officer Astrid's wrap up at the end. She said the same thing about 50 different ways (which seemed to be her gift); namely, that she hoped the kids had enjoyed themselves, and that she and the other volunteers, parents and teachers had all worked very hard to make it an enjoyable experience. And that basically, if they didn't have a good time, it was their own fault because they had obviously come in with the wrong attitude. Well alrighty.

I love the school trips where something out of the ordinary happens (that doesn't involve me holding a bag for some kid to barf into on the bus ride home), so this will definitely be one that I remember. Now if I can only be sure that I won't have nightmares about the stickers on my helmet...

Superwoman, I am not.

There are a number of blogs that I follow daily and really enjoy reading. And recently I've been asking myself how in the world do they do this? Specifically, how is it that they are able to blog every day, on top of everything else they have going on?? Pioneer Woman lives on a working cattle ranch with her husband and 4 kids, and among other things, she cooks and gardens and renovates her beautiful home....oh, and homeschools the aforementioned 4 children! And she blogs about all of it. In one of her blog posts a little while ago, she mentioned that she even cleans cow poop off her front porch. I am completely impressed, let me tell you. (Particularly because there has been dog poop from some random dog at the bottom of my front lawn for a day or so and i have been unable to steel myself to pick it up.) I feel pleased with myself if I'm able to make something relatively healthy for my family for dinner that doesn't get slapped on a cookie sheet, never mind taking fabulous pictures of it all during the cooking process. (Did I mention that PW is also a photographer?)

However, this is not going to be a whiny post about all my shortcomings. It was just something I thought about when I reflected on how long it's been since I last posted here. I won't bore you with the details about the myriad of things that has kept me from my blog (work, killer cold/virus, laundry, mammogram, to name a few), but I will tell you about an outing I had with my parents this week.

Dad has Parkinson's and goes to see his neurologist twice a year. Truthfully, I loath this excursion. It's a big, long, boring drive (2+ hours, round trip) and the appointment itself takes all of about 5.3 minutes. However, the doc is extremely well known in his field and has won awards for his work in movement disorders, blah blah blah. Thank goodness it's only twice a year. But in the wise words of Miley Cyrus "ain't about how fast I get there...ain't about what's waiting on the other side...", it's all about the drive. (Excuse my Miley reference; we've been listening to A LOT of Hannah Montana movie soundtrack over here).

My dad hasn't been behind the wheel in a number of years now, but man, can he drive from the passenger seat. He doesn't even try to be diplomatic about it. I lost track of how many times he said "Where are you GOING?" on Wednesday, with the implication that I was about to drive the car into oncoming traffic, or maybe somehow had forgotten where we live. It used to really tick me off, but I find it's more effective if I'm just over-the-top cheerful about it all. After a few chirpy "You're right! I COULD have gone that way...but I'm going THIS way!!" kind of comments, he backs off a little. Thank goodness I have him and mom there to find parking spots for me, though (she said, sarcastically):

Dad: There's one!
Me: (having already spotted it) Yep.
Dad: Up by the door.
Me: (waiting for the guy to actually back out of the spot first) Got it.
Mom: Oooh...there's a nice close one right by the door!
Me: (grinding my teeth a little) I'm on it.
Dad: Get that one by the door.
Me: Yeah, I think I'll actually let the guy get all the way out of it FIRST!! (depending on where we are in the drive, there may not be any room left for chirpy).

Fun, right? Even better was the conversation after we'd been to the bank, when dad was grumbling about a few pension issues that apparently hadn't yet been rectified...a conversation between Dad and I that was punctuated every 15 seconds by mom saying "But did MY money come in?" or "But MY pension came in, right?". Kinda reminded me of those little kids that are relentless in trying to get your attention..."Mom. Mom. Mom? Mom?? MOM!!!"

So this is one facet of my life at the moment. And I do think a lot about blogging about this and other things, but sheesh. There is effort required. However, I'm not going to worry about being a superwoman and try to do it all. Miley says "life is just a party, so come as you are" (seriously...HM movie soundtrack going all.the.time), and I guess she's right. ;)

Grade 3...OH THE DRAMA

Emma and I had quite the conversation on the way home from church tonight. It seems that 8-year-old girls can be quite catty to one another, and she was filling me in on a few squabbles that have taken place at school recently. We talked about how some people can seem crabby and argumentative, but that it’s a good idea to not take it personally, since you don’t know what’s going on in the other person’s life. I said, “Who knows? Maybe she’s just having a bad day because her mom yelled at her that morning” (a scenario I’m quite sure Emma can relate to). And this is how the conversation went after that:

Emma: Well, I think I know why Suzi (not her real name) is kind of crabby…she had an operation on her arm a couple of years ago.

Me: Oh, and she’s still upset about it?

Emma: Well, now she has a fake arm.

Me: I’m sorry… did you say a fake arm??

Emma: Yep. She has one fake arm and one real arm. Once, we were in gym and she smacked me with her arm and I was like, OWWW!!! And she said Oh, sorry about that Emma. That was my fake arm. It has metal in it.

Me: (a little dazed) OH…and does it look like her other arm?

Emma: Pretty much. It has veins in it, but there wasn’t any blood in the veins until March Break. She said she had some blood put in on March Break.

Me: Well, I guess all of that would make you crabby once in a while. (I don’t know…it was hard to know how to respond after the whole vein thing)

Emma: Well, that and also she lives with her aunt…her mom drinks.

Me: OH!!

Emma: And her dad too.

Me: OH MY.

I'm not quite sure what to make of all of it, really. I think we'll add her to our prayer list. The part about living with her aunt is probably a sad truth, unfortunately. But I think i need to check out the arm for myself!

Just one more reason to eagerly anticipate the arrival of Spring.

The onset of winter means a lot of things...early sunsets, blankets of clean white snow, pretty ice-encrusted tree branches, and sadly, hawked up phlegm all over sidewalks and parking lots wherever you go. Is there anyone other than me that is totally grossed out by this? In trying to get from the door of the grocery store to my car in the parking lot this morning, I felt as though I was navigating through a mine field. Because here is my dilemma: Do I keep my head up, and then avoid seeing all the puddles of...stuff (but risk walking blindly through it), or do I keep my eyes on the ground (BLECH) and my shoes clean by skirting the nasties?

I suppose people are just generally more productive over the winter, but holy cow. Try a decongestant, for crying out loud.

Boring Catch-Up Post

Happy New Year! I realize that's a little lame, considering we're looking at February in another 24 hours or so. Although it was Chinese New Year on Monday, so maybe i'll just impress all 5 of you who read this blog with how culturally relevant i am.

I have missed my blog, but it's been hard to find the energy for it. Christmas was wonderful, but i have to say that it pretty much sucked the life out of me, and i spent as many days of Christmas break in my pajamas as i possibly could. And then i spent the first few weeks in January scrambling to catch up with everything work-related. If i was to summarize my activities over the past month or so in just a few words, my list would look something like this: work, pharmacy, school, pharmacy, work, groceries, pharmacy, laundry, work, school... you get the idea. And of course, there's FACF (Fish and Chip Friday), my weekly excursion to Captain George's to pick up dinner for my parents. Oh, George. Why do you not deliver?

But enough about all that. Blah, blah, blah...I'm busy. Who isn't?

We are getting ready for Lauren to go to Quebec on Sunday for her skiing/snowboarding trip. She's beyond excited, and i'm trying not to hyperventilate about the thought of her driving 6 hours away from me. Well, that and the image of her hurtling down a mountain on a couple of fibreglass sticks. Oh man. Get me a paper bag.

In other news, Lauren has started guitar lessons, which she is finding to be great fun. And it looks like it will be a 2-for-1 deal, because Will is watching what she does on it and teaching himself.

Those are probably our most exciting news items at the moment. Although I did get a new cell phone. Interestingly, mine was recalled because it didn't meet the required safety standards. What was likely to happen? Maybe it would pinch my finger a little too aggressively as i flipped it closed? Make prank calls without my knowledge? Whatever the reason, it was a good deal for me, since i wound up with a nicer phone, complete with camera and MP3 player. So now i'll spend all my spare time listening to music and taking pictures of myself making funny faces to post on Facebook. ;)

The Top 10 Things I Hate About Shovelling Snow: (in no particular order)

1. The sweating
2. Snow that sticks to the shovel
3. Bits of driveway that stick to the shovel
4. The sweating
5. Steamed up glasses
6. Neighbours who stand around chatting as they watch you clear not only your driveway, but also your decrepit elderly neighbour's driveway
7. The drowned rat 'do i'm always sporting by the time i'm done
8. The sweating

Yeah, i realize that's only 8, but i'm too tired from shoveling to list anymore. So sue me. ;)