Wish I could be one of those fun moms...

Today when I picked up the girls from school I was so excited to see that Lauren was bringing home her class’ pet hermit crabs. Aren’t I a party pooper? I’m sorry, but I just immediately flashed forward to a hysterical “MOMMY!! HAVE YOU SEEN T-PAIN AND LIL WAYNE??” moment. Oh, did I not mention that those are their names? Someone in Lauren’s class suggested those, and apparently the majority ruled and so they were christened. Neither one looks like their rapper namesake, but maybe with some really low-riding jeans and some serious bling there would be a greater resemblance. (honestly, how hilarious is it that I found a picture of them at underarock dot com??) Lauren and Emma have decided to call them Hermy and Sheldon, so in a heartbeat they went from hip to nerdsville.

I asked Lauren what needed to be done for the crabs tonight, and she assured me that they only need a couple of food pellets. Thankfully, we are not responsible for cleaning out the tank or anything. There was some talk about letting them out to walk around, but when the girls heard my “you’re going to let them out on my KITCHEN TABLE??”, Lauren heaved a big sigh and said “not necessarily…”. They don’t seem to have any odour, which is good (although Will did say he thought something smelled liked corned beef). I’m not big on odours, although I can tell you quite honestly that I have never seen anyone react as badly to a strong smell as Emma’s friend Kendra. She was in our group for our zoo trip at the beginning of the month and I was just about on the floor every time we went into a pavilion to look at the animals. She would make the most astonishing gagging/hacking sounds. The first time it happened, I truly expected to turn around and see her lung lying on the ground.

Sorry, went off on a whole other tangent there. So here's hoping that the crabs don't keel over tonight, and go back to school tomorrow safe and sound. I told Lauren that she'd better keep an eye on Inky, because she was scoping out the tank like "hmm...hermit crabs...it's what's for dinner".

Grade 3 Road Trip

So today I went on a trip to Safety Village with Emma's class. The trip had an interesting start; I arrived at the school to find a tearful Emma, who was hoping that I had brought her bike helmet. The very bike helmet that I asked her 842 times to put with her bag AND LEAVE IT THERE. The bike helmet that was in fact lying on the floor in the living room, having been used as a football earlier in the morning by her siblings. So I raced home, hoping to get back before they were ready to get on the bus. No such luck. I screeched into the parking lot and ran to the bus, cheered on by the 3rd graders hanging out the windows chanting "GO, CAROLYN GO!!". And I wish I was kidding about that.

We got to Safety Village, which is a really cute kid-sized town where kids learn about road safety and bike safety and other good stuff. We were somewhat dismayed to discover that instead of having the place to ourselves, we would be sharing the village with another school, since some nob had double booked the slot. Officer Astrid said that there would be a total of 80+kids, rather than just our 20 or so.

I have to say that Officer Astrid MADE the whole experience for me. As soon as I heard her name, I grinned to myself because I immediately thought of The Office; the one where they throw the baby shower for Jan and her baby, Astrid. Only, Michael gets the name wrong, and they wind up getting ASTIRD printed on the personalized M&Ms. So of course, I couldn't think of this police officer any other way. Especially since she was just such a bizarre personality.

Officer Astrid treated the kids like they were in boot camp. She stood with her feet at least shoulder width apart and kept hollering "YES, SIR" or "NO, MA'AM" at the kids when they put up their hands to answer a question. She yammered for about 10 minutes about how short on time we were, and how difficult it was going to be to get everything done in the time we had, and there was no time for shenanigans, and there was to be no talking without raising your hand...you get the idea. Then she regaled them with truly horrifying stories about bikes that got totally mangled by trains, and what can happen to you if you put stickers on your helmet. She talked about sustaining terrible soft tissues injuries...if you didn't break your neck first. HOLY COW.

After 45 minutes, she finally ran out of horror stories and told us that we'd be moving on to the helmet inspection. And when one of the kids shouted "FINALLY!!!!", I wanted to add a big AMEN.

The kids rode around the village on bikes, and most of them actually stopped at the red lights and stop signs. Then there were others who were completely in their own world and just cruised on through the intersections without a clue, rode on the wrong side of the road and pulled illegal U-turns all over the place. Was it wrong that I found all of that hilarious? I also loved Officer Astrid's wrap up at the end. She said the same thing about 50 different ways (which seemed to be her gift); namely, that she hoped the kids had enjoyed themselves, and that she and the other volunteers, parents and teachers had all worked very hard to make it an enjoyable experience. And that basically, if they didn't have a good time, it was their own fault because they had obviously come in with the wrong attitude. Well alrighty.

I love the school trips where something out of the ordinary happens (that doesn't involve me holding a bag for some kid to barf into on the bus ride home), so this will definitely be one that I remember. Now if I can only be sure that I won't have nightmares about the stickers on my helmet...